Sex Coach Reveals Avoiding This One Thing Will Ruin Your Relationship

No one wants their relationship ruined, do they? According to the US Census Bureau, the divorce rate per 1,000 population has hit 3.2 in the United States. It is this percentage that shows a reality of struggling relationships and what many couples need help with, as documented by the CDC, where 70 percent of divorces are filed by women. Clearly, many couples could use some advice on how to save their marriage. Nadia Bokody is one such industry authority and likes to cast a rather critical light on the issue of sustaining healthy relationships.

The Elephant in the Room

Nadia Bokody has urged couples to face the ‘elephant in the room’ right from the onset of trouble. Taking to Instagram, Nadia said, “If you want to make sure your marriage fails or your relationship doesn’t stand the tests of time, then just ignore sexlessness. Don’t talk about it, sweep it under the rug, and hope it just fixes itself. A lack of physical intimacy is probably one of the most testified reasons for divorce. When we lose that, we start losing the bond we are sharing with our partner. It causes disconnection, feelings of loneliness, and ultimately, resentment starts to breed.”

A sex coach has provided her advice. (Instagram/@nadiabokody)
A sex coach has provided her advice. (Instagram/@nadiabokody)

How Important Is Physical Intimacy?

One important determinant of the survival of a relationship appears to be the degree to which a couple manages to stay active in the bedroom. It is so much more than sex since it deals with physical closeness, a deep emotional connection with one’s partner. Not being able to form this kind of intimate connection may lead to feelings of being unattended and isolated, which can sometimes turn out to be very destructive in any relationship.

Signs of Disconnection

Some signs will inform you that your relationship is headed for trouble once the physical intimacy begins to dwindle. Some of these include:

  • Emotional Distance: Partners begin to feel emotionally away from each other, manifesting in an uninterested manner toward what goes on into each other’s lives.
  • Increased Arguments: Couples tend to argue more since there is a lack of bonding that the act of physical intimacy provides.
  • Less Frequent Communication: Conversation may become less frequent and superficial in nature; avoiding deeper topics of relevance;
  • Lonely: One or both of them may feel lonely when they are together;
  • Resentment: Over time, resentment develops because of the lack of physical connection, with one or both partners feeling unfulfilled and ignored.
Relationships are tricky. (Getty Stock Photo)
Relationships are tricky. (Getty Stock Photo)

Addressing Sexlessness in a Relationship

Sexlessness is one serious issue that, if not dealt with patiently and rationally, can cause irreparable damage to an otherwise healthy and happy relationship. Here are some steps couples can take toward this:

1. Open Communication

Marvelous relationships thrive on open communication. In the first place, partners should be able to talk about and communicate their feelings, fears, and desires to each other without fear of being judged or blamed. This will enable them to work toward a solution by understanding each other’s perspective.

2. Seeking Professional Help

If you don’t feel comfortable bringing up the issue all on your own, then there is a professional sex coach or therapist to counsel and instruct you in bridging bridges with your partner on the physical front.

3. Intimacy First

Emphasize the power of touch in your relationship. It does not necessarily mean going to bed frequently but spending time close together, like cuddling, kissing, or even just holding hands. This may be very important in keeping the sense of attachment and closeness.

4. Experiment and Explore

Be open to experimentation and learn new ways of connecting with each other physically. Check on new activities in the bedroom or non-sexual events of closeness like massaging each other or sharing a bath.

5. Address Underlying Issues

Sometimes, the state of sexlessness can just be a symptom of some deep-seated problem in the relationship. Taking care of those problems—whether they be caused by stress, health problems, or emotional disconnection—will strengthen physical intimacy.

Knowing Real Pleasure

Aside from confronting sexlessness, it’s important that the real physical intimacy you do share is actual and pleasurable for both parties. Sexpert Katie Flowers shared tips for recognizing real pleasure and avoiding fake orgasms.

Trust your instincts

“For those guys with a gnarly feeling that their partner’s just trying too hard to convince them, they should trust those instincts,” Flowers advises. “Don’t sell yourself short with regard to your intuition. If it doesn’t feel right, it likely isn’t. Allow your gut instincts to take you into authentic moments of pleasure.”

Display authenticity, spontaneity

She wants people to remain authentic and spontaneous in the bedroom. “Genuine pleasure is marked by authenticity and spontaneity,” she says. “Look for signs that signal a natural and unscripted experience.”

Avoid Performance Pressure

It is very important to remove this pressure of performance from oneself or one’s partner. This might just end up causing stress and anxiety, those very negating factors of true intimacy. Rather, focus on the mere act of being there at that moment for your partner.

The Impact of Physical Intimacy on Relationship Satisfaction

Physical intimacy forms part of a huge portion of relationship satisfaction. According to one study, it shows that couples with a healthy sex life are, on the whole, happier and more satisfied with their relationship.

Enhancement of Emotional Bonding

The partners bond emotionally through physical intimacy. It conveys closeness, trust, and security, which are ingredients of a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

Stress Reduction

Sex has, in many cases, been very effective at reducing the stress level. Oxytocin, normally referred to as the “love hormone,” can be liberated through physical contacts to help reduce stress and thus create the feelings of happiness and relaxation.

Boosting Self-Esteem

A healthy sex life can enhance your self-esteem and confidence. The mere feeling that your partner desires and values you may increase your self-worth and your general well-being.

How Communication Helps to Sustain Intimacy

Ineffective communication does not permit the development of intimacy. If there isn’t open and honest communication, it is easy to miscommunicate and get frustrated, which slowly eats away at your relationship.

Discussing Your Needs and Wants

One of the most important features of staying intimate is simply the art of talking about what you need and want from your partner. This means discussing what you like in the bedroom or the issues you might be facing in your life. This way, you will be able to solve everything amicably by making sure that both partners’ needs are met.

Listening to Your Partner

Effective communication does not just pertain to talking but also to listening. Be sure to give heed to your partner’s needs and desires; compromise and adjustment in the relationship should be done when called for. This may help in ensuring that both partners feel valued and heard.

Regular Check-Ins

Because many people find closeness very difficult, regular check-ins can be a helpful way to facilitate closeness and to deal with preliminary problems before they grow out of hand. Schedule time to talk about the relationship and any problems that may arise. This will provide the opportunity for small issues not to escalate into major problems and ensure that both partners are feeling close and supported.

Overcoming Common Barriers to Physical Intimacy

There are some quite common problems in the way of physical intimacy that couples might find themselves facing. Understanding and addressing these barriers can make it possible for a couple to remain healthy and fulfilled in their sex life.

Stress and Fatigue

Stress and fatigue are indeed extremely common barriers to physical intimacy. When one or both partners are under much stress or even fatigued, it is hard to find the energy or desire for physical intimacy. Finding ways of managing stress and looming over self-care might enable one to get over this barrier.

Health Issues

Health problems can be one of the major effects on physical closeness. This could be chronic pain, mental illness, or any other form of medical problem. Such problems need to be addressed and treated according to professionals.

Busy Schedules

Busy schedules may mitigate the couple’s opportunity to have time for physical love. Make some time for your relationship—schedule an appointment for intimacy.

Emotional Disconnection

An emotional disconnection, too, could affect your physical intimacy. When one or both of you feel emotionally dislocated, the feeling of being close physically becomes difficult. You can solve this obstacle by working on an emotional connection through communication or simply having fun together.

The Role of Sex Coaches and Therapists

It then becomes triflingly easy for sex coaches and therapists to help a couple in sustaining physical intimacy. These professionals can guide, support, and strategize the reconnection between the couple for a healthy sex life.

What is a Sex Coach?

It’s anybody who specializes in helping clients to have better sex lives. Such a coach could elicit the ability to communicate better amongst partners and the discovery of new ways in which to physically bond with each other.

What is a Sex Therapist?

A sex therapist is a professional who is usually licensed in the field of mental health and specializes in treating sexual problems and issues. He or she may provide therapy and counseling for individuals and couples to work through a variety of issues, some related to performance anxiety and others to trauma.

When to Seek Help

If you are having problems with intimacy, then consider seeking help from a sex coach or therapist. Such professionals will help you to overcome any problems and teach you how to sustain a rich and rewarding sex life.


Physical intimacy is required for the health and long-term survival of any love relationship. Open communication and professional help can truly work wonders in making a sexless coupling truly connecting. Remember, making love is not all about sex; it’s about maintaining a deep emotional connection between two people. Assurance built on this deeper level will bring you a strong and fulfilling relationship for years to come.

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